Couples Therapy for Vancouver Island, Southern Ontario, and Halifax.

What kinds of issues do couples go to therapy for?

Relationship issues can encompass a number of struggles people experience, such as:

  • Repetitive negative conflict

  • Anger

  • Jealousy

  • Difficulties with communication

  • Differing sexual needs

  • Boundary crossings

  • Unmet or unexpressed needs

  • General feeling of distance or dissatisfaction

The Easiest Way to Improve Your Relationship | The Gottman Institute

Watch this short video from The Gottman Institute to catch a glimpse of the kind of work we do together in couples therapy.

Benefits of Couples Therapy

  • Build a closer friendship.

    Improve your communication skills, rediscover fun & adventure, and build a culture of appreciation towards each other.

  • Increase your intimacy.

    Create a more meaningful life together, build skills to dialogue about emotions effectively, and learn what makes for a better sex life.

  • Feel better about you.

    Increase your self-confidence, learn to regulate your emotions effectively, and heal the issues that keep you stuck in conflict.

  • Find more joy everyday.

    Experience more calm, learn how to naturally find more positives day to day, and regain a sense of control in your life.

How Couples Therapy Works

I am trained in Gottman Method Couples Therapy to help clients rebuild a sense of friendship, feel closer, and learn how to dialogue about recurring issues effectively. While couples therapy does not promise to eliminate all problems, it can help couples regard each other more positively, and to be able to approach difficult discussions with humour, affection, and appreciation towards each other, even in conflict.

Using the Gottman Method, we will take the time to identify the core issues in your relationship, and assist each partner in learning how to both recognize and express their needs in a helpful way. Each person will get the time they need to discuss their side of the story.

As I often integrate other therapy modalities into my work, I typically draw from Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) to build emotion regulation and interpersonal skills as well.

FAQs

  • This is a common misconception! Just because you may be struggling as a couple, it does not necessarily mean that you are incompatible. While it is true that couples therapy can help you determine that this relationship is not the right fit, it may also help you remember why you fell in love in the first place, and learn how to move forward in the healthiest way possible. In fact, many couples even enter therapy together as a preventative measure before major life changes, such as having children. As John Gottman writes, “Every relationship has the potential to be heaven or hell.” Sometimes, the difference is just having the right tools.

  • This is a tricky situation, and ultimately how you decide to handle this will be up to you. I don’t believe that secrecy helps in couples therapy, as it is not possible to build a foundation of true friendship and trust while keeping things from each other. You are welcome to book an individual session to speak to me about what is on your mind, but know that any information I have may be disclosed to your partner within the context of a couples therapy session if I deem it necessary to the process.

  • I will spend time getting to know you as a couple. In the first session, I will ask you about how you met, the history of your relationship, what it is like in present day, and what each of your current grievances are about the relationship. We will also set goals for the relationship, based on each person’s needs and wants. After this session, you will each complete a questionnaire and have an individual session with me so that I can get more information about each person’s side of things. After that, we will meet up for another follow up session so I can provide feedback and discuss a plan with you to help you reach your goals.

  • I wish that I could give you a solid timeline, but unfortunately, it is so varied for each couple that I would be doing you a disservice by guessing. Generally, couples therapy takes a certain amount of commitment to the process by each partner. It will take time for each person to integrate the changes and new information being learned in therapy, so I encourage you to be patient with each other. Change takes time. We will work on compassion and kindness skills, both towards each other and the self, to help you remain softened and optimistic during this process.